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Day 3-Strength?

Written By: Kitten - Jun• 05•16

I keep getting told how strong I am. That I’m the strongest person someone knows. Do they even know me? Do they see beyond the shell that I carry for the outside world? I am a nervous shattered wreck inside. I’m just very skilled at hiding it from everyone but a few select people. I was even able to avoid breaking down in front of Jeff until last night, when I finally admitted I was scared. I am not strong. I am good at disguises. You don’t see what happens once I close my front door. You don’t see what happens once I am alone. Alone, I can’t hide from anyone. I don’t have to. I can let it out. I don’t have to worry about the look of pity. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I don’t want to be known[......]

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June 3, 2016 diagnosis day 1

Written By: Kitten - Jun• 03•16

Multiple myeloma.  Genetic mutation that shows a possible aggressive form. Chemotherapy. Bone marrow transplant. These phrases just keep running thru my head. This is something that happens to other people. This doesn’t happen to me. It can’t happen to me. I don’t have time for life threatening illness. Whether I have time for it or not, I have no choice, because it’s here. And only with Gods grace am I going to beat this.

Ive had so many thoughts in my head since my appt today. Most probably don’t make any sense to anyone but me. Heck, no one else probably even reads this blog but me.. Well maybe Voldemort just to see if I’m talking about her. HEY THERE!

Some of my thoughts I’ve had a[......]

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