AAF23Panic mode and incessant ramblings

Written By: Kitten - May• 12•14

This is so overwhelming.20140525-161020-58220654.jpg My son is graduating in 4 days. For the last 22 years my focus has been raising my kids to be responsible adults. I think I may have done that. But now what? I hate change. Always have. It’s always brought me into emotional overload. For the last 9 years, I have been in about Sullivan north high. But now what? Sure, I’ve been told they still want me to wave the big N and take pics of the boys in action. But my son isn’t out there and my daughter isn’t playing drums in the stands. Change scares me. I’ve been told that now it’s time to focus on me. Guess that’s why I enrolled in college. But now even that is petrifying me. What if I made a big mistake? I don’t know a thing about what I’m enrolled in. What if I fail? I’m scared of failure. I will still have my little packer girls. I love coaching them. I miss coaching basketball, but I guess it’s better that I don’t coach competitively. I get to involved.

I’m just panicking because even though I have Jeff, I still have to do most things alone. I’m always scared of making mistakes or forgetting something important. I know he gets irritated at me when I forget something. I wish it wasn’t like that. I want to remember. My memory is another thing that scares me about going back to school. What if I can’t remember everything, (1277)

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